I’ve had the amazing opportunity to deliver a keynote speech for CUSEC: Canadian University Software Engineering Conference this past weekend. I don’t schedule any speaking engagements during the first month of the year. But I made an exception for this one.

 

I’ve spoken at hundreds of professional conferences and events worldwide. That translates to almost a thousand presentations, both in-person and virtual. And this isn’t my first keynote speech either.

 

The reason I said YES to speaking at this event is because I want to keep pushing myself outside of my comfort zone.

 

I haven’t been in front of students in more than a decade. The last time I spoke at a student-oriented event was back in 2006. I did a keynote speech for a Microsoft-sponsored student developer conference in Singapore. I remember walking up on stage with my O2 XDA II phone running Windows Mobile, controlling a Lego Mindstorms robot with code written using Microsoft Robotics Developer Studio. Ah, the good-old-days of being a developer. Back when I still had hair.

 

For me, speaking at CUSEC was more than just speaking at any other event I’ve spoken at. My biggest challenge was being relevant.

 

I no longer write software full time. Heck, I barely even write production-grade automation scripts. Gone are the days when my day-to-day revolved around looking at an IDE. I spend most of my time talking to decision makers – CIOs, team leads, managers, etc. – on how to help the business use technology to achieve their goals. And, if absolutely necessary, roll up my sleeves and do the heavy lifting myself.

 

It didn’t help that the average age of the attendees was half mine. Many were shocked when I told them I’m almost turning 50. Being relevant has a totally different meaning when age is involved.

 

So, if my job was to inspire an audience full of code-writing geeks, how can I add value?

 

I spent the entire duration of the conference attending other talks and talking to attendees. My goal was to learn as much as I can and incorporate the lessons in my keynote. Good thing my talk was on the last day. Not that I had to rewrite the entire presentation a few hours before I started. But I certainly included important lessons I learned during the conference.

 

 

Am I Good Enough?

 

Anybody who claims they can completely eliminate impostor syndrome is lying. Because impostor syndrome is simply a different shade of fear. And we can never eliminate fear. Unless, of course, you’re already six feet under.

 

And just because I’ve already done almost close to a thousand presentations in my entire lifetime doesn’t mean I never feel impostor syndrome.

 

• I know I’m speaking to an audience who have IQs way higher than mine…

• They have degrees that are far more relevant in the tech industry than mine (there were PhD and post-graduate students in the audience)…

• They are more connected to the world of software engineering today than I had ever been…

 

And you think I’m just making these all up?

 

As a data professional, I have data to prove these claims. I’ve got data points from the hours of conversations I had with both attendees and speakers. And I kept track of those conversations in my pocket-sized notebook.

 

It didn’t help that the other keynote speakers were absolutely amazing.

 

I took copious notes during Lyn Chen’s speech on How To Treat Yourself Like a Startup. I was reliving my post-graduation days through her talk, especially the “close to one-thousand rejections”. The real reason I started a business was because nobody wanted to hire me. So, I hired myself instead.

 

Dr. Greg Wilson’s talk on What Everyone in Tech Should Know About Teaching and Learning is a masterclass for anyone who wants to teach. I have been fascinated with how people learn since I was in university. That’s because I had difficulty learning complex concepts. It’s the very reason I use stories and simple analogies to explain things.

 

Seeing the previous keynote speeches made me doubt myself even more. That’s when those voices in your head start creeping up…

 

• “I don’t think I’m the right person to deliver a keynote speech to an audience of software engineers…”

• “Who do you think you are speaking to an audience way smarter than you?”

• “I’m going to screw this up…and the organizers will regret inviting me as a speaker…”

 

And you know what? I still have these crippling thoughts. Despite doing presentations for close to 30 years now.

 

It’s no different from the thoughts you have when applying for a job or an internship you feel you don’t deserve.

 

Or asking for a raise or a promotion…

 

Or even sharing your dream to a complete stranger (Lyn asked the audience to share their dreams to 10 people and one attendee stayed at the back of the auditorium so she can avoid doing the activity)…

 

And you know what else?

 

It’s OK to have these thoughts. 

 

Because impostor syndrome is a great way to remind ourselves that we’re still humans. That we are capable of feeling the fear that every other human being feels.

 

You want to know a secret that most successful people have that the society doesn’t want you to believe?

 

Successful people also feel impostor syndrome. Just like any normal human being.

 

The big difference is they recognize it and know how to deal with it.

 

They turn the negative voices in their head into empowering thoughts.

 

Before I did my keynote speech, I turned my thoughts into rocket fuel that helped me become the best version of myself for the job.

 

Instead of “I don’t think I’m the right person to deliver a keynote speech to an audience of software engineers…”, I told myself, ”my decades worth of experience working in the tech industry makes me the best person to learn from – both mistakes to avoid and lasting principles to apply”

 

Instead of “Who do you think you are speaking to an audience way smarter than you?”, I told myself, “In life, wisdom is way more valuable than IQ.”

 

Instead of “I’m going to screw this up…and the organizers will regret inviting me as a speaker…”, I told myself, “My talk is going to be the highlight of the conference and the organizers will invite me again next year.”

 

And before you even ask the question, “Am I good enough?”, start with telling yourself, “I’m more than enough.”

 

Do I Belong Here?

 

I did mention that the average age of the attendees was half mine.

 

When I was a kid, I always felt left out because I wasn’t like everyone else.

 

During the talk. I shared the story of how my friends made fun of me when I was a kid. Because I’d rather watch TV than to play with them. And by “TV”, I meant the Transformers cartoon series.

 

I learned how to speak English from watching cartoons. And the reason I spent time watching the Transformers cartoon series was because I wanted to work with robots when I grew up.

 

When you’re born and raised in a third-world country where a telephone landline is a luxury, working with robots is a delusional hallucination. It’s a scientific and polite way of saying “You’re %!^#* crazy.”

 

I knew what it felt like to be left out. To go against the status quo. To be different.

 

Same thing when I was growing up. I did things that most people think are unconventional.

 

…faked my ID at 13-years-old to get a factory job

…ran a fund-raising event in high school despite school officials disagreeing with it

…became a “consultant” at 18-years-old, being flown in a helicopter to fix internet satellite connectivity issues

…sold internet subscriptions to doctors back when 14.4Kbps was the fastest bandwidth one could have

 

I even planned on totally skipping university. That plan didn’t work. I’m Asian. I have to have a degree. So, after 17 failed courses and close to 6 years, I had an engineering diploma in my hand.

 

Despite being OK with being the odd-man-out, part of me still wants to belong. It’s a basic human need, after all.

 

Being surrounded by people half my age brought back feelings of not belonging. It’s like high school all over again.

 

• “I’m not ‘cool enough’ for them…”

• “I feel out of touch with what they’re doing…”

• “I don’t understand their language…”

 

Fun fact: As a non-native English speaker, I still search up jargon and terms that people say. Especially if they talk too fast and I don’t have time to ask, “What exactly do you mean by that?”

 

I had these thoughts at the back of my head every time I’d strike a conversation with people at the conference.

 

We will never outgrow our NEED TO BELONG. It’s hard-wired into our humanity.

 

And while society celebrates the superhero…the inventor…the company founder…the genius…the billionaire…

 

None of them exist in a vacuum.

 

Our need to belong is so essential to our existence. Yet so paralyzing when we don’t fit in.

 

• That’s why we crave the likes on our Instagram posts…

• Or the appreciation for the good work we did…

• Or someone agreeing to our ideas…

 

So, how do we embrace this need while using it to our advantage?

 

Start with learning how to LOVE YOURSELF. And, no, I’m not about to burst out into a Justin Bieber song.

 

Instead of waiting to be appreciated, APPRECIATE YOURSELF.

 

Instead of waiting to be liked, LIKE YOURSELF.

 

Instead of waiting to be accepted, ACCEPT YOURSELF.

 

This isn’t some form of narcissism that I’m advocating. Quite the opposite.

 

Because how can you appreciate others when you can’t even appreciate yourself?

 

How can you like others when you don’t even like yourself?

 

How can you accept others when you can’t even accept yourself?

 

My version of “selfishness and self-centeredness” takes my need to belong and turns it into a need to SERVE.

 

Instead of focusing on ME, I focus on WE.

 

Because I cannot give what I do not have.

 

I turn my need for belongingness into an act of service.

 

So, rather than ask, “Am I ‘cool enough’ to hang out with them?”, I ask, “How can I appreciate them?”

 

Turn your need for belongingness from an act of TAKING to an act of GIVING.

 

And you know what, everyone wants to be around generous people.

 

What Will My Future Look Like?

 

If I’m going to talk about the future of tech, it helps to look back at my personal challenges when I was starting out. Especially when artificial intelligence (AI) is slowly taking over every industry.

 

I knew I wanted to work in tech. But I didn’t have the right background (I don’t have a CS, IT, or software engineering degree) nor the right experience.

 

It didn’t help that every interviewer I talked to had a copy of my university transcript. Yep, the same one that included 17 failed courses.

 

Every job application turned into a rejection. From IBM, Microsoft, Accenture, Avanade, etc.

 

What frustrated me the most was that I was the one who told my friends to pursue a tech career. And they’re already making top dollars despite only working in tech for a year.

 

It’s depressing when you’re on your own, can’t find a job, and have nothing to your name. This is one of those circumstances when you’re most vulnerable.

 

I started having thoughts of living on the streets and being homeless. And the shame of having gone to the top university in the country…yet have nothing to show for it.

 

I knew I had highly valuable skills. But what good are those skills if nobody knew about them? So much for working with robots and mechatronics in a country where labor cost is cheap. No one would need my skills.

 

I spent a good amount of time feeling sorry for myself. Not wanting to get out of bed. Loss of appetite. Constantly blaming myself for all the bad luck that’s happening to me.

 

I had an excuse for everything that was happening to me.

 

• “I can’t get a job because I don’t have a computer-related degree…”

• “No one wants to hire me because I failed 17 courses in my undergrad program…”

• “I can’t pass exams because I suck at it…”

 

Mark Twain once said, “The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.”

 

Dwelling on the negative didn’t help improve my situation. So, why keep at it?

 

Call it luck, the universe, or whatever you want to call it. But just when I was about to give up, I glanced upon a copy of the book The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale sitting on my bookshelf. You can probably guess what the book is about.

 

In those days, I’m not one to believe in any of these positivity or feel-good BS. When you’re born and raised in a culture where hard-work is worn as a badge of honor, none of these made sense. Everything is all about working hard.

 

But what have I got to lose? If the negative self-talk didn’t produce the results I wanted, why not try a different strategy?

 

That was the very first time I started paying attention to my thoughts. That my thoughts dictated how I felt. And how I felt dictated my actions.

 

I made it a habit to speak kind words to myself. Over time, I started taking action. I did meaningful work, those that allowed me to learn relevant tech skills. Having skills improved my confidence.

 

You might be thinking, “What does this have to do with what my future in tech would look like?”

 

Every tech innovation is built to solve a problem.

 

• Cars solved mobility problems…

• Phones solved communication problems…

• Computers solved labor inefficiency problems…

 

Whether that’s AI today or a new technology that gets introduced in the next five years, it will eventually solve a problem.

 

And while most people will look at my challenges as bad luck, I look at it as a blessing in disguise. My challenges helped me become better at solving problems.

 

And, guess what? That’s exactly what I do today as a consultant.

 

Because so long as I have the ability to identify and solve problems, no amount of AI nor technology will ever be able to replace me. I call that “job security”.

 

Let’s get back to that Mark Twain quote one more time: “The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.”

 

The fact is, no one can really know exactly what the future looks like. No matter the amount of data we have and analytics we use. And this is me speaking as a data and analytics expert.

 

I’m not here to tell you exactly what your future will look like. Despite looking at the past.

 

Because regardless of what the data tells you about the past, that’s really all it is.

 

Nobody has the power to change the past. And even if I did, I would not want to change any of it.

 

But we all have the power to change the future.

 

If you don’t like your present, look at the past.

 

If what you did in the past did not help you achieve what you want in the present, change it.

 

By doing so, you have the ability to dictate your future.

 

The most important lesson that guided me in my almost 3-decade tech career came from Rabbi Daniel Lapin: “The more things change, the more we need to depend upon those things that never change.”